Mary Lou’s COVID-19 Story – Part 2

Our last blog featured Mary Lou Gonzalez, a certified practitioner of my Creative Journal Expressive Arts Methods (CJEA), and a Pain Management Specialist at Buentello Wellness in McAllen, Texas, on the border of Mexico. I told the story of how Mary Lou has been using my CJEA methods on herself for healing from COVID-19. 

Since Mary Lou was diagnosed with the virus and hospitalized on June 26th, the area where she lives – the Rio Grande Valley, south Texas, on the border near the Gulf of Mexico – has seen cases of COVID-19 spike. Hospitals are filled to over-flowing and patients have had to be flown out of the area or sent home to die. I had been watching news about “the Valley” closely because I have a deep connection to this region of the country. For 25 years I had led public workshops in the area hosted by Dr. Marsha Nelson, co-founder and training supervisor of CJEA. For ten years, we offered my training program intensives in Mission, Texas, where Mary Lou lives. Like Mary Lou, many professionals from the Rio Grande Valley have become certified CJEA practitioners. Dr. Nelson and her CJEA team brought Creative Journal methods to post 9-11 traumatized families, cancer patients, veterans, active military, medical professionals, law enforcement personnel, under-served children in summer camp, and students K - 12 in schools, including the Mission School District. We’ve done research into the benefits of the Creative Journal in the Edinburg Schools (K-6) in partnership with the University of Texas. 

The Rio Grande Valley, about 98% Latinx, is known for being a deeply family-based culture, often with three or more generations living together or in close proximity. There is also a high level of poverty in the region, which usually comes with less access to medical care, health challenges, more crowded living conditions, and unemployment. COVID-19 was already hitting similar communities across the nation. The pandemic has raged through Mary Lou’s area, attacking all generations, including children of all ages. 

Last week, Mary Lou called me with an update. She was still recovering at home and had seen a new physician (after her former doctor reported his services were no longer covered by her insurance). The new doctor, who was covered under her policy, had administered more tests. Much to everyone’s surprise, her tests showed no COVID-19, and no anti-bodies for the virus. It was as if she’d never had it. What is more, the doctor took her off of glucose balancing medication she had been on before the COVID-19 diagnosis, saying she never had diabetes so didn’t need these drugs. He lowered the dosage of her thyroid, which she’d been on for years. Mary Lou is 61, and the doctor reported that her lab tests indicated a level of health much younger than a person her age. Considering that she was hospitalized as recently as late June for both bacterial Bronchitis and COVID-19, and grieving the death of her 92 year old mother (who died while Mary Lou was in the hospital), the physician’s assessment of her general health is even more impressive and, quite frankly, miraculous.

Her new doctor wanted to know what she was doing. She told him about advice she’d been given at the hospital. She’d followed nutritional guidelines, was taking vitamins, and sleeping on her side or stomach for better breathing. She also told him about the other things she was doing: Creative Journaling, movement, meditation, affirmations, and prayer. The doctor told her: “Keep doing whatever you are doing. It is working!” 

Mary Lou told me that she continues writing journal dialogues with her Inner Child, who speaks through her non-dominant hand. She lives alone and feels free to have spoken conversations out loud with her Inner Child, as well. Some of the messages from her Inner Child have been: Move from fear to love. Be more patient. Put yourself first. Say No to others. 

Mary Lou reiterated that saying “No” to demands from family members has continued to be a big thing for her. She uses my Inner Family method for bringing in her Protective Parent (who sets boundaries on behalf of the Inner Child’s needs). This was especially important when Mary Lou was in the hospital and could not be part of burial arrangements for her mother. She had to say No in a situation where she would normally have jumped in and taken on lots of responsibilities. Instead, other family members had to step up and take over for her. She also had to assert herself when informed she could not rent an oxygen device upon release from the hospital. She needed oxygen when she went home on July 2. The only option was to purchase one. So she insisted on doing so, even though it was expensive. Her Protective Parent took a strong stand and got her what she needed. 

Of course, Mary Lou is sheltering at home. She limits her phone conversation time if she finds it is draining her. She continues to limit exposure to bad news on media in order to preserve a positive outlook. The Protective Parent within also helps Mary Lou set limits on her Critical Parent, who will try to criticize her and blame her for any number of things. Knowing how to put up a protective shield, she tells it to: Be Quiet! 

From Deepak Chopra recorded meditations on her phone, Mary Lou learns positive affirmations that keep her mind healthy. In this way, the Nurturing Parent Within is feeding her Inner Child with good food for thought. We agreed that nourishment and self-care is not limited to the body. It must include the spirit, mind and emotions as well. Keeping a positive mental attitude is critical when dealing with illness. Without healthy mind food, it is easy to slip into depression, stop eating, stop moving, and give up. Along those lines, she told me she had been told to keep eating and keep moving by medical professionals. And she knew from her CJEA training that she needed to attend to her emotional and mental life as well. Through all of this, and in the face of thousands struggling with COVID-19 in her area, Mary Lou told me she never thought she was going to die. Yes, when she returned home from the hospital, she did have anxiety, she cried, she had nightmares (common occurrence with COVID-19), but deep in her heart she knew she would make it.

Some of Mary Lou’s favorite resources have been drawing and moving to Bobby McFerrin’s Medicine Music, and music created by Gabrielle Roth for doing 5rhythms spontaneous movement (Initiation, Endless Wave). She also reads and contemplates a beautifully uplifting book of words and images I recommend to our CJEA community, Living Life in Full Bloom (by Elizabeth Murray). 

Mary Lou uses my “Picture of Health” process (mapping and dialoging with body parts using both hands) and creates health mandala’s (both of which are featured in my book, Hello, This is Your Body Talking). She does Healthy Lifestyle collages (from my book Visioning: Ten Steps to Designing the Life of Your Dreams). 

Mary Lou also recites the Rosary, prays for herself, others and the world, and expresses gratitude to God, the angels, and Our Lady of Fatima. 

I reminded Mary Lou that the CJEA methods she is using grew out of my struggle in 1973 with a lupus-like illness that has no cure. We talked about the great gift that this bout with illness has given Mary Lou. A courageous and dedicated woman, Mary Lou has found deeper powers of healing from having to “walk the talk” while recovering from COVID-19. The end result is that she is finding more vibrant health through her daily practices of good nutrition, self-care, movement, art, journaling, meditation, and prayer.

Love to all. Be well and stay safe,
Lucia

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Mary Lou's COVID-19 Story

This blog is a letter I wrote the worldwide community of certified graduates of our training program, Creative Journal Expressive Arts. It features the journey of healing by Mary Lou Gonzalez, one of our certified instructors in Mission, Texas, on the border of Mexico. She is the first person in our community to be confronting COVID-19 and is using our CJEA tools, including work with her non-dominant hand, in her healing process.

Mary Lou’s COVID-19 Story

Dear CJEA Community:

I just spoke to Mary Lou Gonzalez, our CJEA practitioner from Mission, TX. Mary Lou is our first CJEA member to be diagnosed with COVID-19. She was first diagnosed with Bacterial Bronchitis and treated with antibiotics and then tested positive for COVID-19 as well. After a stay in the hospital on some oxygen, she is back home.

Mary Lou wants all of you to know that she is recovering by using CJEA tools every day. Her mother passed away at age 93 during all this and she was unable to go to the funeral because of her condition. So this has been a triple whammy. Two medical conditions and her mom's passing.

I was very inspired to hear how Mary Lou is using all the tools in her tool kit for recovering from all of this.

Here is what she has been doing: She journals (more about the specifics later) using both hands, does body parts movement work with Gabrielle Roth's 5rhthyms music, walks, prays, does a 15-minute meditation from Deepak Chopra, has dropped sugar and flour from her diet (as directed by her doctor), drinks chamomile tea to reduce stress and stay calm, eats soups and nourishing foods, stays off of social media and away from bad news in media generally. She also had to bring her Protective Parent out when other family members looked to her for nurturing and to take on responsibilities when her mother passed. She could not be there for them as she always has been in the past. She had to put herself first and her own recovery. This was a big step and we both agreed, was a great blessing for her. She is putting her Inner Child (physical, emotional, mental and spiritual needs) first. I've known Mary Lou for years. I have never heard such strength from her. I was there when she quit her old job (during an intensive in Texas) and shared how she asserted herself at that time with the boss. This assertion around COVID-19 was on a whole other level of strength and inner power. I could hear it in her voice when she talked about telling the COVID-19 to "GET OUT OF MY BODY."

For those of you who know Mary Lou, she has been a caregiver for years, in her personal life with family, and in her professional work in mental health as a pain management specialist. She is one of the most compassionate and giving women you will ever meet. And now she is giving all that love and care to herself. She told me the Deepak Chopra meditations really have helped her with that, as they focus on knowing we are enough, we are worthwhile and deserving of love and self-care. And of course, journaling with her Inner Child is helping with that.  

Journaling for COVID-19 Recovery 

Mary Lou kept reiterating to me, "I have to keep up all these practices every day, every day." She said that over and over. Here are some highlights of her journaling:

An Inner Wisdom voice, speaking through her non-dominant hand, has guided her about how God loves her and she is being loved and cared for. That she is enough. That she is recovering and healing. Through her non-dominant hand, her Inner Warrior has been telling the COVID-19 to get out of her body, in no uncertain terms. (This is like the Inner Brat telling the Critic off.)

There is nothing polite or "pleaser" about the Inner Warrior. She is standing up to COVID-19 and setting clear boundaries. That is what I consider a call to her physical immune system to do the same.

This Assertive Warrior voice in us is our psychological immune system kicking in and kicking invaders out. Asserting ourselves against toxins of every kind, including mental toxins of negative thoughts, is our best defense against illness. I've seen cancer patients, like Pat Clark, become victorious over their condition with this simple dialogue.

When I called Mary Lou this morning, I'd been feeling grief over the recent death of a good friend who used to be in our local collage groups, as well as the passing of Hal Stone, who trained me in Voice Dialogue work. Talking to Mary Lou really lifted my spirits. Her use of this work to clear COVID-19 out of her system (as well as fighting the Bacterial Bronchitis), is so inspiring for me. It teaches me, and all of us, how powerful these tools are. They are nothing short of life saving.

As is common with COVID-19 (from what I have read and heard), Mary Lou also had nightmares. Some COVID-19 patients talk about this, either as delirium (which can be caused by high fevers) or as very frightening nightmares. Again, Mary Lou brought her Warrior voice in to deal with these nightmares.

I want to thank Mary Lou for leading the way for all of us on how the combination of journaling, movement, prayer, meditation, and good nutrition in a daily practice can bring about healing from COVID-19. As we know, there is no medical cure for this condition. And there is no vaccine. The antibiotics were given for her other (Bronchitis) condition. And Mary Lou has been told to just stay home. So her kit of CJEA and complementary tools are her "medicine" at this time.

Please keep Mary Lou in your prayers and heart. She is our brave pioneer in CJEA for COVID-19.

Love to all. Be well and stay safe,
Lucia

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Sleep on it: Tapping the Creative Subconscious through Your “Other Hand”

“Never go to sleep without a request to your subconscious.” -Thomas Edison

When we have to make an important decision, we often use the term, “I’ll sleep on it.” That phrase implies that something will come to us in the sleep state. We’ll wake up with “the answer.” Should I accept this job? Should I move to that house? Should I invest in this business?

History is full of inventions and discoveries that happened in the sleep state. Whether they are “requested,” as Edison recommends, or not, we know that the sleep state gives rise to dreams, images, guidance and even groundbreaking discoveries. Kekule’s discovery of the benzene ring in chemistry (think gasoline) is only one example of a scientific breakthrough that came forth in the sleep state. He literally dreamed the pattern that showed him the formula. It’s no wonder. The visual nature of dreams lends itself to the right-brain process of imagery and pattern recognition.

Dreaming taps heavily into right-brain experiencing. All the functions that the right brain excels in are active in the dream state. Dreams are visual and sometimes very physical (as in dreams of falling, flying, drowning). We don’t even need to know how to do some of the things we do in dreams. I dreamt of skiing once, although I had never skied and I still haven’t. But I can describe to you exactly how it feels to ski down a slope covered with new fallen snow. I did it in a dream.

We all know how emotional dreams can be, especially nightmares. We might wake up shaking with fear after a scary dream, weeping after a sad one, or overjoyed by a blissful dream. We wake up feeling that it “really” happened. A bad dream can cause us to “wake up on the wrong side of the bed" in the morning. We all know what that old saying means. If we don’t recall the dream, we may be grumpy all day and not know why.

Some dreams tap into our natural intuitive abilities to the point of being psychic previews of what's to come. We all have had or heard about “precognitive dreams.” Something the dreamer could not possibly have known on the conscious level actually happens in real life. I once dreamed a doctor of mine was at a party given in her honor and was threatened with death by shadowy figures trying to crash the party. I went to the door and told them to go away and they did. Then she appeared with her long silver hair cut very short. Her appearance surprised me. She had always had long hair worn in a bun and said she would never cut it short. Three days later a mutual friend called to tell me the Doctor had a stroke while out of town on vacation with friends on the weekend. The doctors had to cut her hair for doing brain tests. When I saw her a few days later I knew in advance exactly what her new haircut looked like. I’d seen it in my dream.

Sometimes our nocturnal journeys in the sleep state bring spiritual insight. Holy beings, gurus or advisors might appear with a message, guidance or comfort for the soul. In the last chapter of The Power of You Other Hand, I describe dreams I had in which gurus appeared with powerful messages for me. In one, a guru appeared and was slowly replaced with me as a blissful baby (as I actually appeared in Baptismal photos). I understood from that dream that my Inner Child work had to be the center of my healing work as a therapist and teacher. My Inner Child would lead me. I introduced this guidance from a dream in a chapter in The Power of You Other Hand, entitled Recovery of the Inner Child. That chapter later evolved into a whole book, my bestseller Recovery of Your Inner Child.

Drawing and writing with the non-dominant hand can greatly enhance your exploration of guidance from the dream state. Here are some techniques for remembering and exploring dreams using your non-dominant hand for drawing and writing. When doing dream work, always have a journal or notebook and colored pens next to your bed.

• First of all, follow Edison’s advice. Before going to sleep, ask your Creative Subconscious to send you a message, some inspiration, or the answer to a problem. With your dominant hand write down the project, issue or problem you want help with. Note: If you have trouble recalling your dreams, ask your Creative Subconscious to come through when you wake up. It might take a few days, so be patient.

• As soon as you wake up, keep your eyes closed and go over in your mind any images, words or actions you recall from your dreams. You don’t need to remember every detail. Isolated images, words or actions will be enough.

 From The Creative Journal, Swallow/Ohio U, 2015

• Open your eyes. Do not engage in activity or conversation with anyone. No texting, phone calls or chatting with others. With your non-dominant hand draw any images you recall. If it was an auditory dream and you can’t recall visual images or physical actions to draw, then go directly to the next step.

• Using your dominant hand, jot down your first impressions of the dream (dream fragments, if that is all you can recall).

• Do a written dialogue with each visual image in your dream. (If there were a lot of them and you don’t have time, do more dialogues later on.) Start with the first or most powerful image. With your dominant hand, ask questions of the image. Who or what is it? How does it feel? Why? Why has it appeared in your dream. What does it want from you? Finally, what does it want for you? A gift? A lesson? Your non-dominant hand writes the answers (speaking for the image in your dream).

Harvest the wisdom of your Creative Unconscious. Sweet dreams!

Lucia

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The Non-Dominant Hand in Recovery Work

I first became aware of the potential for using writing and drawing with the non-dominant hand for recovery from a student in one of my Creative Journal classes. After class one evening, one of the students thanked me profusely for the journal class and how beneficial it was in her recovery in AL anon. As the wife of an alcoholic she was working on her own co-dependency and had been struggling with the 4th Step in the 12-Step program. She’d been struggling to write her personal inventory for a long time, but felt blocked from actually doing it. Her Inner Critic would then beat her up for not following through with her 4th Step assignment. She frowned as she described her plight.

Then her face broke into a huge smile as she talked about things had changed since taking my journal class. After doing my process in which we answer back to the Inner Critic, allowing the sassy Inner Brat to write with the non-dominant hand, she was able to do her inventory much to the amazement of her sponsor. Her victory over the critic was a great achievement. Answering back to the critic not only freed her to write her inventory but she started creating short stories about her childhood and teen years. She had found her Inner Writer. She later went on to teach writing to seniors and incorporated the block buster journal prompts from The Power of Your Other Hand to liberate her students had internal critics that were stopping them from writing.

Answering Back to the Inner Critic

If you are blocked about something in your life or struggling with a fear of failure, try the following prompt. Get out some 8 1/2” X 11” paper and a pen or set of colored markers.

List all of the self-critical statements you hear in your head using the second person, such as: “You aren’t smart enough to start your own business.” “Who do you think you are trying to go back to school at your age.” “Why are you taking this music class, you know you don’t have any talent.” “Making art is a waste of time. Get busy doing something more practical and profitable.”

Use your dominant hand to write your own version of these negative statements. Be sure to use the word “you” and not “I.” That way you won’t identify with these destructive beliefs and will be able to put them at arms distance. After you’ve written a page of put downs, put the pen in your non-dominant hand and answer back to the critic. Tell it off in no uncertain terms. Let your Inner Brat come out, express your anger about being put down 24-7 by this Inner Critic. Don’t concern yourself with spelling, grammar or penmanship. Just let the words fly onto the page. It may feel awkward and slow, but hand in there and keep writing. After you feel finished, read the words you wrote with your non-dominant hand.

Contacting Our Higher Power in Recovery

Over the years I have heard many reports from individuals in 12-Step programs that my books and workshops also helped them break through a block to writing their 4th Step inventory. Just as important was their discovery of a personal connection with their Higher Power that speaks to them through their non-dominant hand. They were able to tap into inner guidance and intuition that they never knew existed.

My most memorable experience of accessing our Higher Power through non-dominant handwriting happened at a weekend retreat I was leading for ninety-five women in recovery from alcoholism. The women had spent two days engrossed in Creative Journal and Inner Child work and sharing their innermost feelings and experiences. As the weekend was wrapping up I suggested they do a dialogue with their Higher Power. Using their dominant hand they wrote down a problem or challenge they were facing. They then wrote a request for help from their Higher Power. This was followed by allowing their Higher Power to write a response using their non-dominant hand. Since we had already done the prompt in which they answered back to their Inner Critic, I urged them to not worry about grammar, spelling or penmanship as it would be their Inner Critic who would judge these aspects of their writing.

After completing this final journal exercise, the women were then invited to share what they had written, on a strictly voluntary basis. Many of them chose to come up to the microphone and read what their Higher Power had told them. With clarity and heart-felt expression their words poured out from their hearts. They all agreed that this dialogue had made the experience of their Higher Power personal and tangible. The words sounded like ancient wisdom from scripture. There was a depth of compassion and loving-kindness in these journal entries that was profoundly moving. As more women shared the messages from their Higher Power there were more and more tears among those listening. The common insight shared by all in the final evaluations was that our Higher Power resides within us and can speak to us personally. They commented on how the Higher Power seemed to speak in one voice through all their writings. The wisdom in the words that came through the non-dominant hand were described as “loving,” “healing,” and “comforting.”

Lucia

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Finding Inner Wisdom through Your Other Hand

Written with Lucia's left hand

Many authors have written to me that they have written books of poetry and inner wisdom that came through their non-dominant hand. The most common description I've heard from these authors is "the book wrote itself."

The words that you see above written with my non-dominant hand, wrote themselves one day when I asked my Inner Wisdom to speak. As usual I had no idea what would appear on the page. When I have asked for guidance from a well of wisdom deep within myself, I have always received nurturing words of comfort as well as insights to apply in my everyday life and work. When I was completing the last chapter of The Power of Your Other Hand, entitled The Hand of God Within, I turned to my other hand, giving it the last word. Here is what it said in my non-dominant hand:

Just say that the deepest
well of inner knowing
and of peace is within
everyone. It can be
reached, in stillness,
in quiet, and in
solitude.

I am here in everyone
and everything and
the glory of being
human is that you
can know and ex-
perience at-one-ment with
me. For we are one.

When you are afraid,
lost, doubting - be
still, go inside and
find your True Self.
I will be there - where
I've always been -
waiting for you to
recognize the truth
of who you really
are.

I will speak through
everything that is so
human in you - your
fellings, your wishes,
your body, your 
relationships.

(Written by my dominant hand)
How do I know I'm not just making you up out of 
my imagination? How do I know that you really exist?

You will know. If you
don't recognize me at
first, eventually you
will. Sometimes when 
you have lost your
way and are far away
from your true Self,
you may doubt that I
exist. That is when you
have forgotten who you
really are. But if you
will speak with me
as you are now, I will
respond. 

Later on
when you read our
conversation, you will
recognize my real-
ness. You will see
your own doubting
mind, and you will
fell my essence
and know it to be
yours. You will see
the difference between
your small, fearful,
anxious self and your
true, beautiful and
peaceful Self. And 
since you have
written both voices,
you'll realize
that they both came
from you. Then you
will see that the
Highest Truth and
Wisdom resides
within you. Everything
else is illusion. You
will see that you've
had it backwards
all these years.

You thought your
self was the little scared,
confused "character"
that doubts and worries
and defends itself. That
is the figment of imagination.
That is the thing you made
up with your mind.

I am the Real You. I
am your True Self
reminding you to
wake up, come home
to the bliss of your
Inner Self.


Lucia

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