The Use of Humor in Confronting One's Inner Critic

Stephanie Houser, a certified CJEA practitioner, shares a delightfully creative journal process she did while confronting her Inner Critic. Using art and writing, she brought humor to the experience, and broke through a block she had. This approach to negative self-talk, using humor, is one I have witnessed over the years as being highly effective. Here is Stephanie's story.

The Use of Humor in Confronting One's Inner Critic
by Stephanie Houser

I wanted to tell you about a recent experience I had with my Inner Critic that really helped me to get past it in order to start writing and drawing again. 

I was drawing a picture of my Inner Critic and my non-dominant hand started drawing funny things over it - a flowered hat with a big bow, purple hair, and as I'm drawing I hear these other voices chiming in, "Give him blue eye-shadow," "Put curlers in his hair," and as I'm adding each thing to the drawing it becomes more and more funny to me. As I put the final touch on the face - a pair of cats-eye glasses - I just started laughing. It was such a wonderful way for me to negate the critic's power. 

Then my non-dominant hand wrote "You're Ridikulus! You have no power over me!" at the bottom of the picture and I made the connection to the boggart banishing in Harry Potter. In the Harry Potter series of books, there is an entity in it called a boggart and that entity is a shape-shifter that takes the form of it's observers worst fear. The way to defend against a boggart is a spell called Riddikulus: you make the creature into a figure of fun with your imagination so that fear can be dispelled with amusement. If the caster is able to laugh at the boggart, it will disappear. I found a picture from the Harry Potter movie that looked so similar to my drawing, too. 

I wanted to share my experience since I have been either writing or drawing ever day since I did this. I thought it might be helpful for others to try it this way.

Stephanie Houser, Certified CJEA Instructor
Groups and Individuals
Central Coast, California
shouser@charter.net

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Lucia

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Healing Conflicts with Others through the Non-dominant Hand

One application of non-dominant hand drawing and writing that my clients and students are using more and more, are the relationship prompts in Chapter 8 of The Power of Your Other Hand. This chapter focuses on interpersonal dynamics and gaining deep insight into where the other person is really at. In written conversations, the "other person" speaks through the writer's non-dominant hand. These prompts are to be used when you are in conflict with someone or where there has been estrangement. Going past our own ego and the ego of the other person seems to be a precious gift that our non-dominant hand gives us. The words that come out always have the ring of truth, provide insight into hidden meanings in the conflict, and bring about empathy in the one writing the dialogue.

Jack Jimenez, a candidate for Creative Journal Expressive Arts Certification, was able to resolve an argument with his adult daughter by doing such a dialogue and some drawing with his non-dominant hand. Here is his account of how he used his non-dominant hand to get past a block to understanding and loving his daughter during a family crisis.

Healing Conflicts with Others through the Non-dominant Hand

Journal entry: 1/10/2020

As I write this I am waiting to go to my 48-year-old son-in-law’s funeral this afternoon. He died of a massive heart attack, unexpectedly, four days before Christmas. He leaves behind my 39-year-old daughter, a 15-year-old son, and a 12-year-old daughter.

My son-in-law was a big tough Marine with a heart of gold. He was universally loved by his family and by most anyone whose lives he touched. There are many shattered hearts that will gather today to honor and show respect for this fine man. Through the tears I don’t know how we the living will handle it.

The short version of this tale is as follows: my daughter and I had been estranged for over a year and had not spoken. I received the call that AJ had passed out at work and then died on the way to the hospital. We rushed to the hospital where my daughter and grandchildren were.

I have been with my daughter either physically or by phone ever since AJ’s death and as she struggled making the necessary arrangements for the funeral. Then, two days ago we got into a heated discussion. I did my usual and shut down and became mute. I was very hurt, but it came out as anger and I was completely unable to communicate with her.

I called my mentor in Creative Journal Expressive Arts training, who told me to journal and gave me some prompts. I did, and channeled what I needed to know from my daughter using my non-dominant hand.

The wonder of this work is that it turned me into a crying mess, walking in my daughter’s toes and heartache. Right after I finished I texted her that I loved her and said I was sorry for adding to her burden. She texted me back with a very loving response.

I now understand the incredible power of this work and have made a huge shift in my mindset and approach to communication and conflict resolution.

Jack Jimenez
Life Coach, Grief Recovery Specialist, and Candidate for Certification in Creative Journal Expressive Arts
oldrthndrt@msn.com
Southern California

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Lucia

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Enter the Dragon: Inner Critic as Sparring Partner

Where there’s a creative muse, there is a dragon lurking right behind. Whenever I am inspired, feel the urge to create, or try something new in some area of my life, then boom! Fear and doubt follow right behind. My brain starts chattering: “I can’t do this. What makes me think I can succeed? I’ll look stupid and others will laugh at me or at what I create. I’ll just fail, so why bother. This is a waste of time. Stop now.” That is the recipe for a creative block of any kind.

I’ve lived my life chasing after new ideas, and making most of them a reality. As a pioneer in the arts, education and psychology, I’ve had to take on the dragon of inner criticism and self-doubt on a regular basis. Whether I am making art, writing a book, creating a new school curriculum, or starting a new business project, I’ve learned that the dragon of inner criticism and self-doubt are inevitable. Taking on the dragon has become a way of life, a necessary part of the game. It is a form of mental martial arts. Fortunately, I found my Inner Bruce Lee years ago. My dragon has become my ally.

The martial arts metaphor came to me in a journaling session. I was curious as to why we needed the dragon of self-put-downs when engaging with novel ideas and new directions. It had become clear that this was an inevitable part of the creative process. But why? I turned to my non-dominant hand for the answer. My inner guide (writing with my left hand) told me that my Inner Critic is my “sparring partner,” just as boxers have a sparring partner who prepares them for the ring. That is how they get tested and toughened up.

Like sports, and like Life, the Creative Process is not all sweetness and light. Brilliant ideas and inspiration are not enough. The creative process is not for the faint of heart. Giving birth to the new is not for sissies. There will be labor pains. There will be gut punches. But most of them are coming from our own critical mind.

If we understand how the Inner Critic operates as a character assassin, destroying our self-worth with negative thoughts, we can combat it. If not, it can obliterate our creative urges, block our creativity and contribute to depression and low energy. In my private practice as an art therapist, I’ve found that creative blocks can cause depression and anxiety. Not the other way around, as is commonly believed. Once the blocks are removed, using my method of inner martial arts through journaling, the depression and anxiety disappear.

By standing up for ourselves and defending our creative urges against the dragon of self-criticism, we open the floodgates to huge amounts energy. Our natural life force moves us naturally into the flow of the creative process. This is our birthright. Like little children, we regain our inborn ability to experiment, and we explore new territory within ourselves and out in the world. Our souls guide us with a message of light and new possibilities. We gain the strength to grow and express our true Creative Self. We take the risk of being our authentic selves and not settling for less.

The Dragon’s Agenda

In the creative process, the dragon’s agenda is the opposite of adventure and new growth. It follows left-brain rules, colors inside the lines, and sticks with the same-old-same-old. It describes our new ideas with words like strange, crazy and too “out there.” It hypnotizes us into blindly believing its judgments. Creativity is dangerous territory. Do NOT venture forth into places others have not gone before. Forget about pioneering anything. Innovation has no place in a tidy, safe little world. It goes nuts at the thought of breaking new ground and predicts the worst possible disasters. If we veer off the trodden path by flirting with the idea of an entirely new career, a different lifestyle, or starting a new business or hobby, it warns of danger at every turn.

The tricky part is that this dragon may start out sounding benevolent, like a well-meaning friend, a protector who has our own best interests at heart. It says stuff like: Things are fine the way they are. Why rock the boat? I’m just trying to protect you from being hurt. Just stay with the tried and true. Taking risks is too dangerous. All kinds of terrible things could happen. I’m only saying these things for your own good.

But if we persist in following our heart and our creative urges, this self-styled “friend” becomes our “foe”. It resorts to bullying, name-calling and doomsday prophecies. Who do you think you are anyway, thinking you can pull this off? You’re not smart enough. You’re too old (or too young). You don’t have enough talent or education or experience (or whatever). You’ll fail and be disappointed. You don’t have what it takes to do what you dream of. You will look stupid. Others will laugh at you. Worse yet, you will be rejected. If that doesn’t discourage you from moving ahead, it often returns to posing as your friend. I’m only saying these things for your own good. 

If we let the dragon of self-criticism control us, our lives shrink and we are severely diminished. The dragon will suck all the juice out of our existence. We stagnate, risk being depressed or even getting ill. But it doesn’t have to be that way. We can literally unmask the dragon of self-criticism and inner bullying and get to the other side of self-doubt and paralyzing fear.

Mask making and journaling with the dragon

Materials: paper plate (plain white) or large brown shopping bag (big enough to fit over your head). Fat markers or crayons. Optional: scissors, glue, colored paper. Your personal journal or 8 ½ X 11 bond paper, pen and markers.

Make a mask depicting the face of your own personal Inner Critic dragon. Portray the character behind the voice that puts you down and discourages you from trying anything new or creative. You can draw it with your non-dominant hand or make a collage with colored paper or both. There is no right or wrong way to do this. Only YOUR way. Make this mask as fierce as you can. This is your sparring partner that tries to stop you from being creative, from trying new things, from venturing forward in life. Enjoy creating this mask.

Put your dragon mask on and look in the mirror for a few minutes. Be aware of how you feel being looked at by the face of your inner dragon.

In your journal or on bond paper, using your dominant hand let your dragon mask talk. What critical things does it say to you? How does it stop you from being creative in life? How does it block you from following your heart’s desire? Let it talk.

With your non-dominant hand, let your Creative Self talk. How does it want to be creative, adventurous and innovative in your life? Is it a new project? A different direction in life? A hobby you are drawn to? A new travel adventure? Let it say what it wants.

With your dominant hand, let your Inner Warrior speak on behalf of the Creative Self. What will your warrior do to help you be more creative, adventurous and innovative in life? How will it help you from letting the Critic dragon get in your way? You may even want to draw a picture of your Inner Warrior. Maybe it looks like a favorite sports star, warrior or superhero, like Bruce Lee, Serena Williams, Superman, Wonder Woman, etc.

For detailed information and procedures for making more elaborate masks, see my book The Art of Emotional Healing (Shambhala 2006), chapter 9 – Facing Ourselves: Mask Making and Inner Dialogues. For more on breaking through creative blocks, see The Power of Your Other Hand (Conari Press 2019), Chapter 3.

Lucia

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The Non-Dominant Hand in Recovery Work

I first became aware of the potential for using writing and drawing with the non-dominant hand for recovery from a student in one of my Creative Journal classes. After class one evening, one of the students thanked me profusely for the journal class and how beneficial it was in her recovery in AL anon. As the wife of an alcoholic she was working on her own co-dependency and had been struggling with the 4th Step in the 12-Step program. She’d been struggling to write her personal inventory for a long time, but felt blocked from actually doing it. Her Inner Critic would then beat her up for not following through with her 4th Step assignment. She frowned as she described her plight.

Then her face broke into a huge smile as she talked about things had changed since taking my journal class. After doing my process in which we answer back to the Inner Critic, allowing the sassy Inner Brat to write with the non-dominant hand, she was able to do her inventory much to the amazement of her sponsor. Her victory over the critic was a great achievement. Answering back to the critic not only freed her to write her inventory but she started creating short stories about her childhood and teen years. She had found her Inner Writer. She later went on to teach writing to seniors and incorporated the block buster journal prompts from The Power of Your Other Hand to liberate her students had internal critics that were stopping them from writing.

Answering Back to the Inner Critic

If you are blocked about something in your life or struggling with a fear of failure, try the following prompt. Get out some 8 1/2” X 11” paper and a pen or set of colored markers.

List all of the self-critical statements you hear in your head using the second person, such as: “You aren’t smart enough to start your own business.” “Who do you think you are trying to go back to school at your age.” “Why are you taking this music class, you know you don’t have any talent.” “Making art is a waste of time. Get busy doing something more practical and profitable.”

Use your dominant hand to write your own version of these negative statements. Be sure to use the word “you” and not “I.” That way you won’t identify with these destructive beliefs and will be able to put them at arms distance. After you’ve written a page of put downs, put the pen in your non-dominant hand and answer back to the critic. Tell it off in no uncertain terms. Let your Inner Brat come out, express your anger about being put down 24-7 by this Inner Critic. Don’t concern yourself with spelling, grammar or penmanship. Just let the words fly onto the page. It may feel awkward and slow, but hand in there and keep writing. After you feel finished, read the words you wrote with your non-dominant hand.

Contacting Our Higher Power in Recovery

Over the years I have heard many reports from individuals in 12-Step programs that my books and workshops also helped them break through a block to writing their 4th Step inventory. Just as important was their discovery of a personal connection with their Higher Power that speaks to them through their non-dominant hand. They were able to tap into inner guidance and intuition that they never knew existed.

My most memorable experience of accessing our Higher Power through non-dominant handwriting happened at a weekend retreat I was leading for ninety-five women in recovery from alcoholism. The women had spent two days engrossed in Creative Journal and Inner Child work and sharing their innermost feelings and experiences. As the weekend was wrapping up I suggested they do a dialogue with their Higher Power. Using their dominant hand they wrote down a problem or challenge they were facing. They then wrote a request for help from their Higher Power. This was followed by allowing their Higher Power to write a response using their non-dominant hand. Since we had already done the prompt in which they answered back to their Inner Critic, I urged them to not worry about grammar, spelling or penmanship as it would be their Inner Critic who would judge these aspects of their writing.

After completing this final journal exercise, the women were then invited to share what they had written, on a strictly voluntary basis. Many of them chose to come up to the microphone and read what their Higher Power had told them. With clarity and heart-felt expression their words poured out from their hearts. They all agreed that this dialogue had made the experience of their Higher Power personal and tangible. The words sounded like ancient wisdom from scripture. There was a depth of compassion and loving-kindness in these journal entries that was profoundly moving. As more women shared the messages from their Higher Power there were more and more tears among those listening. The common insight shared by all in the final evaluations was that our Higher Power resides within us and can speak to us personally. They commented on how the Higher Power seemed to speak in one voice through all their writings. The wisdom in the words that came through the non-dominant hand were described as “loving,” “healing,” and “comforting.”

Lucia

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Breaking Through Creative Blocks

I've received hundreds of letters over the years from readers who broke through creative blocks simply by writing with their non-dominant hand. They have discovered a poet within, an inner artist, an inventor, an adventurer and more. Some individuals, like artist Mona Brookes, didn't have a creative block as most people would define it, but she did have a fear of traveling.

After drawing and writing with her non-dominant hand, Mona experienced a chain reaction of creative breakthroughs in all areas of her life. She also did written dialogues using both hands. Many blocks vanished with a speed that is truly amazing. This is not to say that right/left hand writing was solely responsible for the changes in Mona's life. However, she feels it was a big catalyst for these changes.

One of Mona's most immobilizing blocks was a "travel phobia". She had just turned 45 but had never traveled because she was afraid of getting lost, missing planes, or entering new environments. Shortly after she started doing left-hand writing and drawing she worked up the courage to take a car trip from Los Angeles to Santa Fe, New Mexico with a friend. There were many complications on this trip serving to test Mona's "travel phobia." However, in the end, she had a wonderful time. "It was the first vacation I ever enjoyed," she recalled with a big smile. She has since become a confirmed traveler.

One of the rewards of removing blocks is that it builds self-confidence. The breakthrough of the travel experience gave Mona the confidence to overcome other obstacles. She gained faith in her ability to play the piano. She accelerated the dance studies she had recently embarked upon. At first she was extremely self-conscious and shy about dancing in front of others. She later danced with professionals and appeared in a dance-movement video.

Mona also took on new challenges in business. Before founding her own school, called MonArt, she had been a public servant. "I never saw myself as a businesswoman," she said. "I never dreamed that I was capable of going into business for myself. But after doing all these other things I thought I couldn't do, I started expanding my classes and trained many more instructors in my method." Within two years of being introduced to her non-dominant hand, Mona had developed programs in public schools and expanded from three hundred and fifty to more than five thousand students. She later trained teachers from all over the world to establish MonArt schools in their communities. This involved traveling globally to visit her MonArt instructors, proving that her fear of traveling and also of being a businesswoman had been conquered.





Mona's story appears in Chapter Four - Hand in Hand. There are many block buster exercises in The Power of Your Other Hand. No matter what area of your life you feel blocked or stagnant in, there are tools in the book for breaking through to the other side.

Mona is the author of two books featuring her MonArt method:

Drawing With Children: A Creative Method for Adult Beginners, Too

Drawing for Older Children & Teens: A Creative Method for Adult Beginners, Too

Lucia

Let us know what you think of this post in the comments below. Follow us and be updated by email when new blog posts are published.
 
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