‘Tis the Season for Holiday Eating

Marlena Tanner is a Dietitian and certified CJEA Practitioner with a practice on California's Central Coast. She applies my methods in the treatment of eating disorders. Because holidays are a repeated phenomenon with their own rituals and traditions, each one has memories attached to it. These memories go back to early childhood. Our emotional and instinctual Inner Child is easily triggered during the holidays, especially when comparing today's COVID-19 reality with celebrating past holiday seasons. Marlena has some sage advice about "holiday eating," which can become a problem for anyone. 

‘Tis the Season for Holiday Eating
by Marlena Tanner 

‘Tis the season for merriment, joy, and yes, holiday eating. In effect, it is also for many the season of guilt. Even those who do not struggle with eating issues can get entangled in guilt-ridden overeating, a loss of control, and body shame. This is then followed by the well-known New Year’s pattern of dieting. Let’s explore our eating over the holidays a little more and dig deeper into what we are really looking for in the food. Perhaps this will raise your awareness just enough to create a new pattern of behavior this holiday season.

It starts around Halloween with candy, followed by Thanksgiving, holiday cookies and finally more Holiday meals. In today’s health-conscious (health-obsessed) culture, this time can be met with dread. Rather than embracing the traditions with excitement, some of us begin to fear that we are doing something terribly wrong by engaging in this season of eating. It’s not black or white. We do not have to give the proverbial middle finger to the diet industry by gorging ourselves, and we do not need to abstain to take some moral high ground. We can partake with intention and mindfulness. We can listen to our bodies and our hearts. Yet, even with the best intentions, we sometimes find ourselves out of control. We find that we can’t always stop eating when we start. Sometimes, it feels bigger than us. 

It is useful to remember the most common reason for losing control around food is actually deprivation. Whether it be physical deprivation from inadequate intake (such as dieting) or psychological deprivation from the foods you don’t allow yourself (such as dieting), deprivation almost always leads to a loss or perceived loss of control at some point. Holiday food of course also carries meaning and memories and it’s particularly special because you rarely have it. All of these reasons can make it harder to stop when your body is full. 

Emotional eating and overeating isn’t inherently bad and is actually a part of normal eating. We celebrate, we come together, and we share not only food, but feelings. But when our eating hurts us over and over again it’s helpful to get really clear about what the food is providing for us. In these moments, we can utilize Creative Journal Expressive Arts (CJEA) prompts. 

Grab some unlined paper or an 11 x 14 sketchbook, a few thick markers in different colors and come join me! 

Using your non-dominant hand (NDH) draw out the feeling that is overtaking you in a moment of non-physical hunger. Maybe the cookies keep calling your name even though you are beginning to get a stomachache. Maybe you are in the midst of a late-night leftovers plate. Start by drawing the feeling/hunger. It could simply be colors or scribbles. Or it could be a personification of the feelings and thoughts. It could also be a simple outline of your body and where in your body you feel the urge or craving. 

Using the non-dominant hand helps access emotions that are stuffed away in the limbic system. This part of the brain is not directly available to the left, logical side of the brain. Holidays inevitably bring up memories and bodily feelings (the Inner Child) connected to previous holidays, sometimes going all the way back to early childhood. That is why it can be such an emotional time. 

Here are some examples: 

Next, ask the following four healing questions, writing them down with your dominant hand: 

1) What are you? 

2) How do you feel? 

3) What makes you feel that way? 

4) What do you need? 

Use your NDH to answer each question. If you are still unsure what you are truly hungry for, ask “what else do you have to teach me?” Or “how can I help you?” 

You can take this simple activity further depending on what answers you get. Let’s say that like this example, you are called to rest and practice self-love and acceptance. How might that look? Draw another image of you doing exactly that and write a letter with your dominant hand this time, promising yourself that you will do just that. If you are unsure on how to do so, you can switch hands again and ask for more guidance on how this will happen. For example, “how do I practice self-love and acceptance?” “How do I get more rest?” 

This simple activity can be done at any time you feel overwhelmed by an emotion. Scribble it out, turn to the four healing questions and journal with your non-dominant hand. You may be surprised what you find. Our cravings and our hungers have the potential to hold great meaning. Solve the symptoms like a puzzle so that you may be more present with your loved ones, and with yourself. And for goodness sakes, enjoy, really truly enjoy, that wonderful food! Guilt and shame do not deserve a place at the table. 

Happy Holidays! 

Marlena Tanner, RDN, CEDRD-S, CJEA
Morro Bay, CA
www.marlenatanner.com 

 

 

 

 

 

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Lucia

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From Chaos to Calm: Drawing and Collaging Our Way Through COVID-19

The anxiety we have all felt in the face of coping with COVID-19 is universal. To one degree or another we have all felt it. Anxiety comes in many colors and themes. It may appear as fear of the unknown, of living in highly unpredictable times and with circumstances out of our control. Then there is the fear of coming down with the virus. For many millions, panic about financial survival weighs heavily. Many are scared about day to day challenges, such as schooling children at home, finding much needed supplies that have become scarce, or care-giving sick family members (whether they have COVID-19 or not).

We all need ways to release this build up of anxiety from the body and mind. If we don’t, our immune systems can be weakened (the last thing we need right now). As Dr. James Pennebaker’s research shows, writing about trauma or crisis strengthens our immune functions. My research with children showed that drawing and writing about anxiety has health benefits. (Edinburg School District, Edinburg, TX, Jefferson Elementary School, 2013-14.) I’ve also observed that creating collages depicting chaos, followed by collages of calm, can bring about a deep state of inner peace.

Scribbling it out

Scribbling with both hands, as well as writing with the non-dominant hand, are great ways to shed anxiety bottled up in the body. Using both hands for these stress scribbles helps balance my brain and appears to regulate the nervous system.

Letting my non-dominant hand add words can help as well. The looser the writing, the better. Sometimes a simple image will tell the whole story, as in this “Long windy road” scribble when I realized that sheltering in place could last awhile.

When scribbling out my stress I always find that I draw my way to another mood, one of acceptance and calm. The colors often change, as in this stress series when red and black suddenly turned to yellow and blue. I was also healing from a collar bone fracture and bruised arm and found that all the scribbling I had done made my shoulder and arm feel much better. On the last drawing, I wrote, Mending the Fracture.

Collage: Feelings piece by piece

Another great medium for dealing with anxiety and chaotic feelings is collage. The very act of tearing images out of magazines is cathartic. Sometimes the subject matter in the photos expresses accurately how we feel. That was certainly the case with these photos of trash from an article in National Geographic. Just recognizing how the photo depicted my jumbled up feelings was healing in itself. But I went even further and scribbled my mixed feelings out onto the next page, forming the background for more photo fragments of trash.

The words, Finding Our Way to the Future, amidst all the chaos of COVID-19 jumped out at me from the magazine pages. There was something positive we could do. Shelter in place, wear masks in public, protect ourselves and others from this mysterious virus, which was turning up new symptoms every day and striking new unsuspecting populations, like the young.

On the facing page, I placed a photo of the cosmos torn asunder. I got the feeling that this too would pass. The split seemed to represent a big divide between “life before COIVD -19” and “life after COVID-19”. I had no idea what that meant logically, but my intuition said there would be a big sea change in our lives. And yes, it would be a “trip on the wild side” as the words stated.

As usual, this morphed into another mood and a new message on the next page. Holding pictures of underwater images and a deep sea diver with the caption, Get a clearer picture of the… inspired me to write the words…Inner World. That’s what all this chaos and stress were leading me to. I added to the left, Healing through travels in Inner World. After that I wrote Visions of the heart.

It was clear that sheltering in place while also recovering from a fractured collar-bone were forcing me inward. Time to introspect, feel my feelings, and listen to my heart.

At that moment I noticed a Get Well card from a friend sitting to the side of my work area. The sentiments were perfect for this moment. So I glued the card into my journal. The words, Time and rest, gentle healing, and a deep-down cared-for feeling!…echoed exactly what I needed at that time in my life.

Later on in my journal I expressed the “vision of my heart” by creating collages of places and scenes I associated with peace and well-being: safe and beautiful places I’d been to in Hawaii and other spots on the planet.

This led to a collage I call, Calm, that speaks for itself. A cozy, safe sanctuary in which to rest, relax and recover.

 
For more activities in scribbling and collage, please see my books: Drawing Your Stress Away and The Art of Emotional Healing.

These journal pages also appear at my YouTube channel, Lucia Capacchione, in the series: The Creative Journal Goes Viral - Part 4.

Lucia

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Sheltering-in-place: Finding Inner Freedom Through the Non-dominant Hand

In early March, before shelter-in-place became “a thing,” I was already doing it. Having survived a horrible case of the Hong Kong flu in 1968, I didn’t want this virus anywhere near me. I was familiar with the 1918-19 influenza outbreak in Los Angeles. My mother, a preschooler at the time, had carried vivid memories of those terrible times, which she shared with me.

I researched as much information as possible about COVID-19 and, in the process, learned about quarantine strategies that had worked effectively in past pandemics. I learned that San Francisco had been largely spared in 1918 because of a robust quarantine policy put in place right away. When they eased up on it too soon, they were hit hard by a second wave.

Sometime in early March, we began staying at home and only going out for essentials. I had worked at home for all my adult life, when I wasn’t on an occasional book or workshops tour. But this was different. On March 11, I expressed my feelings about voluntarily being at home all day and night and limiting contact with others. Using both hands, I drew this maze-like scribble.

I was able to express the feelings of being contained and protected but at the same time held in. As I drew the concentric circles inside the enclosure, it felt like going around in circles inside the enclosed space. The drawing expressed all the feelings I was having at the prospect of staying at home all the time. We had also been having raining days, so that familiar “stir crazy” sensation of being cooped up inside due to cold, wet weather was there as well.

The next drawing I did was a scribble pattern that felt like the chaos that was being unleashed in the world as COIVD-19 swept across Asia and was making its way down the west coast of the US. After scribbling with both hands for a while, my dominant hand began doing its own thing by coloring in the natural loops created by the scribble pattern. This is an old tried-and-true warm up activity used by art therapists, but now it took on a whole new meaning. This felt like people in quarantine sequestering in their own separate spaces. They were all floating in the chaos, but contained in their own quarters. I wrote the words, “quarantined COVID”.

On the same day I drew what felt like scribbled chaos in orange (using both hands) followed by a brown cage-like grid. Were the cage bars somehow an attempt to contain the chaos? Or were they standing between me and the chaos, protecting me from it? Perhaps both. We know that staying at home protects us, but also protects others if we are carrying the virus.

Writing with my non-dominant hand, I inadvertently misspelled quarantined as quaranteened. Later, I recalled having a serious case of bronchitis when I was seventeen, followed by measles, and having to be in bed for many weeks. The present was triggering a past trauma. This kind of double entendre happens all the time with the non-dominant hand-writing. The unconscious knows what it knows, even if we don’t. And it will “blurt” it out through the non-dominant hand in words and in drawing.

I did many drawings that day, and more scribbling with both hands that looked like quarantine in times of chaos.

By contrast, another drawing done that day was a harbinger of good things to come. A dynamic blue and green container holds a bright, flowing yellow light.

When the official sheltering-in-place announcement was made by our Governor to begin on March 19, I was ready. I saw it as an opportunity to use the extra time on my hands to do journaling. As anyone who knows my work is aware, journaling is my personal therapy, meditative practice, refuge in the storm, and creative incubator. It has certainly been all of that and more during these trying times.

On April 5, after two weeks of the official shelter-in-place mandate, I decided to draw out my feelings about staying at home all day every day. My non-dominant hand grabbed a black marker and started at the center working outward forming a square-ish spiral. From there I continued with brown maze-like lines expanding out from the center spiral. The final black lines on the perimeter felt like an outer protection for the inner space.

This was followed by a two-handed dialogue with the drawing. My dominant hand asked the questions (in brown). My non-dominant hand answered in black.

What are you?
I’m the insides. Your insides. All cooped up inside you. ON this gray dark rainy day. 

How do you feel? 
Grounded. Like when we were kids. Couldn’t go out on rainy days. We felt restless + stir crazy like now, like all these days of staying home. I feel sad, too. 

Why do you feel this way? 
Cuz of COVID19 we are staying home – we’ve been staying put for over 2 weeks now. Even when it’s not raining like today. I miss doing things + going places we always did before. Like going out for lunch or dinner, going to the gym for exercise every week, getting coffee at the coffee shop near the gym – they closed down now. Going to the local shops. Can’t do any of that… I really miss that. 

And I miss seeing all the people in town – friends, shop-keepers, and visiting with them. It’s like a ghost town in town. Empty. Only the bank + grocery stores + gas stations open. 

I’m so glad the ice cream parlor on the west end of town has been open. When we got a cone there last week I though, THIS is definitely a necessity. Ice cream is essential right now. That made me feel happy. If I couldn’t have my ice-blended latte from the coffee shop, I could at least have a coffee ice cream cone! But I had to eat it outside, alone on the sidewalk because everything is take-out these days. And I was the only one on the street. Just me and a couple of cars passing by. 

What can I do to help you? What do you need from me?
Exercise at home on the little trampoline some more. We started that last week but I need to do that more and longer periods of time. I like doing the walking, a little jumping, and dancing on it to music. 

Also, keep letting feelings out by “dancing on paper.” Scribbling and drawing to music in the journal here. And even on big paper. 

Is there anything else?
Yes. Call friends and stay in touch. It’s OK to email, but I like hearing the voices of friends + family + co-worker. Skyping is good, too. 

Also, I miss eating out. So do what you did yesterday and get take out. It’s like “Dining out at home.” And it feels good to help the restaurant folks. It keeps them working. And we have to help each other. That feels really good, especially right now. I’m glad we donated to NOKIDHUNGRY.COM. THE IDEA OF KIDS GOING HUNGRY OR ANYONE GOING HUNGRY REALLY MAKES ME SAD. So donate + help others. That feels better to do that. 

I’m glad we can help others when we do work as a therapist on the phone + Skype. And when we do group calls for CJEA or interviews + podcasts + YouTube videos. Helping others helps me. And sheltering in place helps everyone. 

Lucia

Let us know what you think of this post in the comments below. Follow us and be updated by email when new blog posts are published.
 
www.luciac.com
www.visioningcoach.org
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The Art of Transforming Fearful Mental Images

Our guest blogger is Claire Perkins, an artist, author, and expressive arts coach. During an experience of deep grief, Claire discovered the healing and awakening power of expressive art and journaling, which she now brings to her clients. Trained in the Creative Journal Expressive Arts (CJEA) method, Transformational Life Coaching, Active Dreaming and SoulCollage®, she gently guides people to deeper self-awareness, inner healing and awakening with a juicy mix of simple expressive art, dream work and journaling.

Here is what Claire shared with me:

“This pandemic is definitely a challenging time that triggers all kinds of fears. A perfect time for this work in the world. Over the past few days, I have been collaging imagery around my own fears. Today I wrote a blog post that includes two of the SoulCollage® cards that I created - the first expressing virus fears and the second, an "antidote" vision of healthy lungs. I journaled with these cards using both "I am the one who" (a SoulCollage® format for working with cards) and CJEA journaling dialogue with the non-dominant hand. It was a wonderfully transforming activity.

The Art of Transforming Fearful Mental Images
by Claire M. Perkins

When vague inner fears dance around in my heart and mind, I’ve found that giving them visual form through collage is an excellent first step in getting a handle on them. There is something healing in the act of gathering together those disturbing but hazy feelings and turning them into a visual you can hold at arm’s length and address in a more solid and concrete way. It’s cathartic.

This corona virus pandemic has definitely stirred up some fears, so I decided to explore my uneasiness through SoulCollage® and Creative Journaling, including the use of my non-dominant hand (NDH) to allow the images to speak.

The first card I created is a representation of this virus pandemic that I call “Aye! Corona!” In this card, the whole world is wearing a mask (of illness? of fear? of protection?). Those spiky little virus buggers have evil monster faces and sharp teeth – and they are everywhere! The poor beleaguered health worker, like something from a horror movie, looks out through the eyes of the virus.

Allowing the card to speak, here is what emerges from the voices of the virus, the world, and the health worker imagery.

Virus Images

I am one who is coming at you with teeth bared and spikes out. I am one who is everywhere. You can’t hide from me any longer. I am one who has come to make you wake up and pay attention. I will multiply until you start to listen. I am a symptom of a world out of balance. I am a desperate call for change.

What do you need from me? 

(NDH) I need you to wake up. I need you to recognize that I am a messenger – that this is bigger than the here and now crisis – that your entire culture needs to make deep, systemic changes if humanity is to survive. Think about the gift of your breath. Your breath is life. It feeds your entire system. It is a balance of gathering in and letting go. But your culture gathers, gathers, gathers and never lets go. The wealthiest of you always wanting more, more, more while so many have not enough. If all you ever did was inhale, you would explode. And your culture is doing just that. It is no accident that I attack the lungs. I am a metaphor, a symbol of breath out of balance, of a world drowning in an excess of greed and complacency, like a balloon about to burst from too much air. It’s time to let go of this need for more, more, more.

World Image 

Help me! I am desperate. I am dying. I can’t breathe. I am one who has been your home, your mother. I am one who has been abused – nearly to the point of no return. You and I are one organism. We will live or die together. It is time to come together. There is still time to heal.

What do you need from me? 

(NDH) I need you all to allow time for a reset. I need you all to reexamine your priorities. I need you all to recognize that this is one world, that all of you are interconnected and bound with me. I need you all to make me – your home – a priority. I need you to recognize how out of balance this world has become and to work at bringing balance back. Start with balance in your own life, in your own way of being.

Health Worker Image 

I am one who is here to help, but I am overwhelmed and outnumbered. I am one who must protect myself so that I can help to heal others and the world. I need supplies: gloves, masks, medical equipment, tests and medicines, rooms and beds. I am one who stands on the front lines. If I fall, we all fall.

What do you need from me? 

(NDH) Keep their feet to the fire – those in charge. Make them see that in this moment of crisis we need to focus on procuring the necessary equipment and facilities for the storm that’s about to hit. Please, please, please heed the advice to stay home as much as you can, to wash your hands often, to disinfect surfaces. These actions can lower the amount of cases that land in my care.

~~~

Having created a card that expresses my fears and having listened to what it wanted to say to me, I begin to think and feel my way into creating an opposite or antidote card.

 One thing that really stands out to me from what the virus said is the idea of breath – that this is a disease that attacks the lungs. I take a deep breath and feel that my antidote phrase is “healthy lungs.” Yes, there is much more to this crisis – deeper, systemic social construct issues, climate change, greed, etc. But my right-now-fears are centered in the current health crisis. So, “healthy lungs” feels right.

A couple things that really stand out to me visually in the “Aye! Corona!” card are the round, spiky forms of the virus and the predominant pink color. When I look through the fear at just the visual impression, I can’t help but think of a softer form in a similar shape and color. A flower, like a peony or hydrangea. Now I have the clues I need to begin to create my antidote card.

I find several appropriate images and create my new card. The combination of the pink peony and the pink daisy mirror the round shape and pokey spines of the virus, but in a soft, transmuted way. The pink color is echoed in the bronchial pathways of the lungs and it feels healing.

When I look at this new “Healthy Lungs” antidote card, I feel an immediate shift in my energy from fear to peace. Just looking at it automatically triggers several deep breaths and the feeling of peace grows.

Healthy Lungs Image

We are ones who bring you the breath of life and pour that life through your whole system. We are healthy. We are strong. We are ones who, while vulnerable to viruses and pathogens, have worked and will continue to work remarkably well for the vast majority of your life.

What do you need from me? 

(NDH) Please keep breathing deeply. It helps to keep us strong and clear and gives us what we need to feed and restore the entire body system. In addition, it lowers your stress and relieves the system of stress hormones, which are detrimental to your health and immune processes. When you feel fear and stress arise, remember to breathe.

Pink Peony Image

I am one who transforms the fear in your head. I am one who softens your thinking. I am one who brings the pink light of healing energy into your entire system. I am one who rests gently around your third eye and crown chakras, opening the way for spiritual wisdom and guidance to help lead you in right action.

What do you need from me? 

(NDH) I, too, am fed by deep breathing. I blossom as fear moves aside, and fear moves aside when you inhale peace and exhale worry. Breathe deeply, and when you feel my calm presence – listen. Listen for Divine Guidance. Know that you are safe, protected and guided at all times.

Pink Daisy Image

I am one who projects your energy out into the world. I am your spiritual antennae. Like a halo, I project your inner light – or your inner fear to those around you. Like an antenna, I can also soak up the light or the fears from those around you.

What do you need from me? 

(NDH) Be aware of how you are affected by the fears of those around you and the fears peddled on the nightly news. Do not allow yourself to soak up too much of the fear around you. Be aware, too, of what you are projecting out into the world. Try not to feed the fears, but rather to be a light.

~~~

I found this process to be cathartic, calming and healing. If you are looking for a way to transmute your fears about the current pandemic, I encourage you to give this activity a try. Your fears and my fears may take different form. Let your own emotions and intuition guide you as you gather images and make your cards.

While I created my cards digitally with free use source images from Pixabay, you don’t have to do it that way. You can also use magazine images, scissors and glue to make your cards. Or source your images from the internet, print them out, and then use scissors and glue. You can even simply draw a visual representation of your fear and then draw an antidote. The main point is to use imagery to express and then transmute your fear.

I plan to keep my antidote card out where I can see it throughout the duration of this pandemic as an anchor and a reminder to breathe, to tune in to spiritual wisdom and guidance, and to watch out for both incoming and outgoing transmissions of fear.

Claire Perkins
Artist, author, and expressive arts coach
Certified in Creative Journal Expressive Arts
Claire@claireperkins.com
https://claireperkins.com

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Lucia

Let us know what you think of this post in the comments below. Follow us and be updated by email when new blog posts are published.
 
www.luciac.com
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Creative Journal and Nature: Co-Create a Spiritual Experience by Liberating the Inner Child

Our guest blogger this week is Charlotte Yonge from England. Charlotte is a Certified Creative Journal Expressive Arts facilitator and Visioning® Coach who works with individuals and groups of all ages. She has done a great deal of work in nature, as reflected in this post.

Using the Non-Dominant Hand to Hold the Imaginative "Stretch" of Visioning®, Accessing Deep Levels of Grief with Nature as my Inner Teacher

Left and right hands play together in Creative Journal: "Life must be lived as play." ~Plato

These Creative Journal activities are part of my journey to recover my Inner Child and restore some effective Inner Parents. They are all created from experience, rooted in dreams and memories and, like stories, take on their own life as anecdotes in conversation becoming shared understanding of common human issues.

Early in my CJEA training I depicted my Inner Critic and told it to go using my non-dominant hand. All around the picture are the words I remembered from childhood that made me feel shame and guilt. I realized that they came from adults and my parents and I contemplated their own dilemmas of bringing me up in an alien continent: Africa.

My mother's sharp tongue was crafted from the deep vulnerability she felt with two toddlers alone in a house while my father was on the road. At our first house I was 2-3 years old, and she reflected on the garden she created which became an oasis for birds in that very dry landscape.

My mother died in 2017, and a month or two before that I had shown her the Wilderness Mother collage card, although by then she was not responding well and I did not know what her reaction was. Her last words to me were to tell me she loved me.

My grief processing with the non-dominant hand brought to memory her love of dance and Nature. I found I could reflect on the gifts she gave me of her love of gardening, wild nature and of woodland. I tapped into my own Inner Artist, so long rejected, and began creating many cards, one of which was called Wilderness Mother.

So I tapped into the wild in England, and brought all my early experiences to bear upon my sense of loss for it to become a part of my new Inner Artist persona. A big stretch of self-affirmation was fueled by grief and gratitude together, and a whole pack of 67 cards.

As I dialogued with Nature, and the memories of wild gardens in my African childhood, all sorts of metaphors arrived in my intuition about the direct experience of Nature and its challenges. The difficult emotions were represented in the landscape for me, and so I became more familiar with my own gut responses as creative allies.

For me the vision of my artistic self became real after dedicating my dialogue with Nature to my mother’s fiercely held dream of life cracks you open, and her positive response by growing new life. Through my non-dominant hand I drew a witch face for my Inner Critic, and this helped me explore how my difficult relationship with my mother’s fierce interactions with me as an adult were necessary survival behaviors that had kept me safe in very disruptive times of living in two continents.

I was brought up in Africa as a semi immigrant, loosely connected to a home country (UK), but deeply bonded to the African wilderness. Over time my mother created gardens in semi desert areas; her courage made her a fierce life affirming person with early experiences of dance and movement before the war threw her into facing the worst of challenges in a hostile, primitive environment.

Charlotte Yonge
creativeliteracy@gmail.com
www.cliacoaching.co.uk

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Lucia

Let us know what you think of this post in the comments below. Follow us and be updated by email when new blog posts are published.
 
www.luciac.com
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Order The Power of Your Other Hand (Conari Press 2019) at Amazon.com

The Non-Dominant Hand as a Guide Through Grief

This week's guest blogger is Claire Perkins — an artist, author, and expressive arts coach. During an experience of deep grief, Claire discovered the healing and awakening power of expressive art and journaling, which she now brings to her clients. Trained in the Creative Journal Expressive Arts (CJEA) method, Transformational Life Coaching, Active Dreaming and SoulCollage®, she gently guides people to deeper self awareness, inner healing and awakening with a juicy mix of simple expressive art, dream work and journaling.

The Non-Dominant Hand as a Guide Through Grief

Fifteen years ago, after years of struggling with his addiction, my eldest son died of an accidental overdose at age 26. My worst nightmare had come to pass. It was a grief unlike anything I'd ever experienced.

Yet by some stroke of divine order, six months prior to Cameron's death, I had begun studying with Lucia Capacchione and learning, among other things, the power of drawing and journaling with my non-dominant hand. Who knew that my own left hand would become so instrumental in leading me through grief into healing?

About a week before Cameron died, I had an ominous dream in which a giant wave - like a tsunami - came crashing up through city streets and skyscrapers. In a room in one of the buildings, I could see a small, frightened boy. When I awoke from this dream, I sensed it had something to do with my son and it left me feeling uneasy. I had often thought of him as drowning - drowning in an ocean of unhappiness, anger and addiction. I titled the dream, "The Big Wave."

I spent some time creating a collage of this dream. It was almost as if the dream was continuing on paper. I filled a poster-sized sheet of paper with many kinds of water images and images of small children. At the bottom right, I placed images of two women, perhaps aspects of myself, observing this watery scene.

When I learned of Cameron's death a week later, I knew that the Big Wave had finally claimed him. He had drowned in the sea of his addiction.

I turned to the collage I'd created from my dream seeking wisdom, guidance and healing as the tsunami of grief crashing over me threatened to drown me as well.

I began a two-handed dialoguing process and, over a few days time, spoke with every image in the collage by asking questions with my dominant hand and allowing the images to answer through my non-dominant hand.

Each and every image had powerful wisdom and healing to share with me, and all the dialogues are included in my book, The Deep Water Leaf Society (https://www.amazon.com/Deep-Water-Leaf-Society/dp/0982105614/). But perhaps the most surprising conversation of all was the one I had with the surfer at the top left of my collage.

Dominant Hand (DH): Hello Surfer - who are you?

Non-Dominant Hand (NDH): It's me, Mom. Look at me - I'm riding the wave! It's wild and dangerous and so much fun! Mom, I'm happy. It's all good. I had a short ride, but what a rush!

DH: So you feel good then? Happy? Satisfied?

NDH: Mom, I didn't drown. Not like you think. I just grabbed a board and hung on for a wild and crazy ride. Don't cry, Mom - please? That makes me sad.

DH: I'm sorry to cry, but I'll miss you. I didn't think of your life as a lot of fun. I thought you were hurting and in pain.

NDH: But it was all part of the ride. Really. It's ok. I'm free. I'm happy. I'm moving on.

DH: What is it that I can do for you?

NDH: You've done it all, Mom. Now it's my turn to do for you.

DH: What gift or wisdom do you bring to me?

NDH: Freedom. Live your life, Mom. Ride your own wave. I love you.

~~~

Sometimes as I write with my non-dominant hand, I wonder where the words are coming from. But in this instance there was no doubt in my mind that it was truly Cameron who was speaking to me, urging me to see his life and death differently, urging me to live my own life fully in spite of this loss.

While the dialogues with the images in my Big Wave collage often evoked a flood of tears, I felt safe and protected somehow. Every voice seemed to encourage me to see that love was all that mattered and all that was real. That love would heal all wounds. That love never dies.

When the woman at the bottom right, the one with her eyes closed, said through the non-dominant hand that she felt as though the weight of this loss would crush her and that she would drown in her tears, the other woman had a different point of view.

DH: And so, finally, to you - the woman with her eyes wide open. Who are you?

NDH: I am you.

DH: And how do you feel?

NDH: So many things. Joy one moment and sorrow the next. But look at me - I'm dressed for swimming. We will keep our eyes wide open even when we are immersed in the sea. It will never overwhelm us. We are safe.

DH: And what can I do for you?

NDH: You are doing it. Living. Loving. Feeling. Growing. This is why we are here.

DH: I know this is true. What gift or wisdom do you bring to me?

NDH: We shall see, Claire. We shall see . . .

~~~

During the six months prior to Cameron's death, I had been learning to use all the healing tools and processes of Lucia Capacchione's Creative Journal Expressive Arts, including listening to the wisdom of my "other" hand. And for that I am truly grateful.

While dialoguing with the images in my Big Wave collage was only the first step in a very long journey through grief into healing, my non-dominant hand would continue to lead the way.

Claire Perkins, CJEA

Web: www.claireperkins.com
Facebook: www.facebook.com/ClairePerkinsArtAndSoul/
Email: claire@claireperkins.com
Books:
The Deep Water Leaf Society: Harnessing the Transformative Power of Grief
(https://www.amazon.com/Deep-Water-Leaf-Society/dp/0982105614/)
Fallen: The Adventures of a Deep Water Leaf
(https://www.amazon.com/Fallen-Adventures-Deep-Water-Leaf/dp/0982105622/)

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Lucia

Let us know what you think of this post in the comments below. Follow us and be updated by email when new blog posts are published.
 
www.luciac.com
www.visioningcoach.org
Order The Power of Your Other Hand (Conari Press 2019) at Amazon.com

Grief Work Using the Non-Dominant Hand

This week’s guest blogger, Elva Villarreal, is a practitioner of Creative Journal Expressive Arts and Visioning® Coaching. After teaching school for many years she became a workshop leader, coach and facilitator of cancer support groups for H.O.P.E. (Helping Other People Emotionally), held at McAllen Public Library in McAllen, Texas. After her mother’s death, Elva wrote a book entitled I Am Here, illustrated by artist and CJEA colleague, Lisa Brown. Elva works with professional caregivers, therapists and counselors, and includes non-dominant hand journaling in her workshops.

Grief Work Using the Non-Dominant Hand

I often introduce workshops with movement to Gabrielle Roth’s 5 Rhythms recordings. I usually use selections in which Gabrielle narrates body parts for inspiring spontaneous movement. She also has music covering many moods and allowing for physical expression of feelings. There are no dance steps or instruction in how to move. All movement is improvised in response to the music. We follow this with Dancing on Paper, in which participants scribble out feelings to music with their non-dominant hand using whatever colors feel right to them.

Then I read my book and have the group journal about someone they miss. It could be a loss through death or other kind of separation. They use their non-dominant hand to draw the person. Using their dominant hand, they write the qualities of that person which they love and miss. Then on another sheet, through the non-dominant hand, the other person writes them a letter. Participants then partner up to read each other’s letter to one another.

When working with professional caregivers, I start my workshop with a presentation of concepts of healing through art and writing, and the technique of using the non-dominant hand. I often get left brain questions and discussions about clients such as: "What are the steps to get a client to access the right brain?” “What if a client doesn’t know which color he should choose or what he should draw, and he keeps asking questions for reassurance?” etc., etc. I am able to quiet them down when they do the exercises. That’s when I often see a flood of tears!

Caregivers often have personal losses as well as the deaths of patients or residents in care facilities with whom they have been working. They need the opportunity to process their grief. It is helpful to do this collectively in a group. They also express their grief about other things in their lives such as a recent cancer diagnosis of a loved one, early loss of a parent, “empty nest syndrome,” stress, and a need for peace and balance in life.

These workshops for therapists and counselors highlight the fact that professional caregivers also experience tough things in their personal lives. They too have a need for processing feelings and nurturing themselves. I am reminded of the series of workshops offered by Creative Journal Expressive Arts instructors Vicki Muir and Marsha Nelson for therapists in New Orleans after Hurricane Katrina. I joined this CJEA team to present five days of workshops to different groups of therapists. I also had the privilege of leading a children’s workshop, with Vicki doing a drumming activity at a Children’s Grief Center, while Marsha worked with their parents. We were able to show professionals dealing with their own losses from the hurricane how to care for others while taking care of themselves.

Elva Villarreal
elvavi382@gmail.com

“Use of the non-dominant hand for drawing and writing opens up buried feelings and allows them to be released from the body onto paper. The wisdom and comfort that result provide a powerful support during the grieving process. Furthermore, a practice of journaling during a period of grief is extremely helpful. Grief knows no timetable, so journaling can be done anytime feelings of sadness or missing a loved one come up.” –Lucia Capacchione

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Lucia

Let us know what you think of this post in the comments below. Follow us and be updated by email when new blog posts are published.
 
www.luciac.com
www.visioningcoach.org
Order The Power of Your Other Hand (Conari Press 2019) at Amazon.com