Healing Conflicts with Others through the Non-dominant Hand

One application of non-dominant hand drawing and writing that my clients and students are using more and more, are the relationship prompts in Chapter 8 of The Power of Your Other Hand. This chapter focuses on interpersonal dynamics and gaining deep insight into where the other person is really at. In written conversations, the "other person" speaks through the writer's non-dominant hand. These prompts are to be used when you are in conflict with someone or where there has been estrangement. Going past our own ego and the ego of the other person seems to be a precious gift that our non-dominant hand gives us. The words that come out always have the ring of truth, provide insight into hidden meanings in the conflict, and bring about empathy in the one writing the dialogue.

Jack Jimenez, a candidate for Creative Journal Expressive Arts Certification, was able to resolve an argument with his adult daughter by doing such a dialogue and some drawing with his non-dominant hand. Here is his account of how he used his non-dominant hand to get past a block to understanding and loving his daughter during a family crisis.

Healing Conflicts with Others through the Non-dominant Hand

Journal entry: 1/10/2020

As I write this I am waiting to go to my 48-year-old son-in-law’s funeral this afternoon. He died of a massive heart attack, unexpectedly, four days before Christmas. He leaves behind my 39-year-old daughter, a 15-year-old son, and a 12-year-old daughter.

My son-in-law was a big tough Marine with a heart of gold. He was universally loved by his family and by most anyone whose lives he touched. There are many shattered hearts that will gather today to honor and show respect for this fine man. Through the tears I don’t know how we the living will handle it.

The short version of this tale is as follows: my daughter and I had been estranged for over a year and had not spoken. I received the call that AJ had passed out at work and then died on the way to the hospital. We rushed to the hospital where my daughter and grandchildren were.

I have been with my daughter either physically or by phone ever since AJ’s death and as she struggled making the necessary arrangements for the funeral. Then, two days ago we got into a heated discussion. I did my usual and shut down and became mute. I was very hurt, but it came out as anger and I was completely unable to communicate with her.

I called my mentor in Creative Journal Expressive Arts training, who told me to journal and gave me some prompts. I did, and channeled what I needed to know from my daughter using my non-dominant hand.

The wonder of this work is that it turned me into a crying mess, walking in my daughter’s toes and heartache. Right after I finished I texted her that I loved her and said I was sorry for adding to her burden. She texted me back with a very loving response.

I now understand the incredible power of this work and have made a huge shift in my mindset and approach to communication and conflict resolution.

Jack Jimenez
Life Coach, Grief Recovery Specialist, and Candidate for Certification in Creative Journal Expressive Arts
oldrthndrt@msn.com
Southern California

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Lucia

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